


Talk To Someone

by RobinPlaysTrumpet15



Category: 9-1-1: Lone Star (TV 2020)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Big Brother Judd Ryder, Episode: s01e03 Texas Longhorn, Gen, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Drug Addiction, Nervous TK Strand, Opening Up, Talking, do not copy to another site
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-15 15:14:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,396
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29438088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RobinPlaysTrumpet15/pseuds/RobinPlaysTrumpet15
Summary: Something Judd said just won't leave him alone, and TK decides that maybe he wants Judd to know the truth.
Relationships: Judd Ryder & TK Strand
Comments: 5
Kudos: 122





	Talk To Someone

**Author's Note:**

> Canon divergence where TK opens up to Judd after they make up in Texas Proud. I just really love these characters, and I love Judd as the protective, caring big brother that everyone just feels really comfortable and safe around. This idea just wouldn't leave me alone, so I wrote it and here it is. I hope you like it!

Their conversation had long ended by now. They’re good and both of them got to say their piece. They’re both the coach’s son now, and they’d laughed and subsequently been teased by Mateo and Paul.

Everything is right in the 126.

Except… TK can’t get a nagging thought out of his mind.

Judd said he’d gotten after him because he was scared, not mad. But that didn’t— He still said something. Something that TK’s been struggling with.

_”You must have been killing it in New York City that you got to follow Daddy down here at the drop of a hat.”_

TK’s issue isn’t being called out. He needed that. Deserved it. He’d disregarded Judd’s orders and could have gotten himself and Marjan killed.

No, it’s that…

TK has been seeing a therapist. The one his dad picked out for him. He’s been going to AA, hasn’t touched a pill or a drop of alcohol, and he doesn’t want to. Most of the time, anyway. He doesn’t want to die. Not now. TK hadn’t been out to kill himself the night Alex dumped him, but he can’t say that in the moment, the thought hadn’t crossed his mind. He wasn’t trying, but he’d thought, at the time, that he would have been okay with dying.

And— and Judd just… TK thinks he can talk to him. If Judd is willing.

Judd is seeing a therapist. He’s dealing with his own issues. Maybe… Maybe TK just needs someone to talk to. Someone who’s not his dad, not a therapist he has to see (even if he does like him). AA is great, but the 126… They’re his family. They’re still learning each other, and everything is so very new, but they’re still a family.

TK wonders, hesitating at the edge of the dining room, if a lot of people are drawn to Judd. If he comes off as someone trustworthy and supportive to everyone, or if that’s just the nature of their jobs together.

“Judd?” he finally calls and tries to sound casual. He garners more than just Judd’s attention, but they get waved off easily and return to making dinner.

Judd comes over, already surveying TK with a knowing sort of look in his eye. What he’s looking for, TK isn’t quite sure.

“What’s up?”

“Can we talk for a minute?”

“Yeah. Yeah, sure. Is something wrong?”

TK shakes his head, puts on a little smile and a chuckle into his voice.

“No, no. I mean, not really. I just… I need to talk, if you’re okay with that?”

Judd nods immediately and herds them towards the stairs.

“Don’t take too long!” Paul calls after them. “Dinner’s about ready.”

TK pauses and turns just long enough for Judd to tell the others to get started without them if they’re not back in a few.

“Just a few minutes.”

TK isn’t so sure about that, but he is hungry, and he knows Judd must be too. He doesn’t want to hold them up too long. He’s not sure if he’ll still have the nerve to do this later, though.

They get upstairs and sit together on a couch. TK hates that he’s getting nervous and fidgety. He wishes vaguely that he had something to hold onto. A stress ball or something, maybe. Oh, well.

“So, what’s up?” Judd asks, wasting no time. Which makes sense. Judd doesn’t really beat around the bush all that much.

“I uh…” TK sighs, losing his words. God, why is this so hard?

Judd jumps right to it, though, just as TK had thought he might.

“Hey, hey, take a breath,” he says. He shifts and faces TK a little more on the couch, ducking around to try and find TK’s eyes. “It’s alright.”

TK swallows and nods.

“I know. It’s just— What you said the other day, about being able to just drop everything and follow Dad down here—”

“TK, listen, I-I didn’t—”

“No, Judd, I’m not, you know, _upset_ that you said it. I just, uh… I want you to know why I came.”

He has to breathe for a second, get the words to form on his tongue and actually make their way out. Judd waits him out with patient silence. He’s a comforting presence, TK realizes. When he’s not calling you out on your shit, anyway. The thought almost makes him laugh.

“It wasn’t my choice,” he says finally. “Dad made it for me.”

Judd nods. “Okay.”

“I was — am — an addict. I uh… struggled with pills and alcohol. Went through rehab, was doing well. I hadn’t touched any of it in years. Then uh… I got dumped, the day I was going to propose to my boyfriend. My ex-boyfriend… I relapsed. Would have died if Dad hadn’t brought the crew and the battering ram.”

Judd rubs a hand down his face.

“Ah, TK…”

“I-I’m sorry for dumping that on you,” he says quickly. “I just— I don’t— Uhg, I would love to be able to talk right now.”

“Don’t worry about it, TK,” Judds cuts in with a shake of his head. “We’re brothers, remember? I’m here if you need me. And if you say you need to talk, then I’m here for that. Got it?”

TK smiles and nods, huffs an affirmative sound through his nose.

“Yeah. Got it.”

Judd nods. “Good. Now, answer me this: how are you doing? And don’t give me whatever bs you give us to get off your back. I mean really, how are you holding up, TK?”

TK opens his mouth to respond, but Judd gives him this Look. Like he’s expecting TK to brush him off again, even with everything he just shared. And… okay. Yeah, that might be something he would do. … That’s _definitely_ something he would do.

So he pauses and actually thinks. Comes up with an answer that is both truthful and not too much.

“I’m… I could be worse,” he decides. “Dad has me in therapy twice a week, I go to AA. I’m not in danger of relapse. God knows I don’t want to go through that again or put Dad through it. It’s just— Adjustment is hard. Everything’s gray and I feel numb a lot, ever since we got down here. And uh… I did something incredibly stupid. I went to a bar the other night, looking for a fight. I found one.”

Judd sighs. “TK…”

“I know,” he cuts in. “It was stupid. Carlos was processing me after. Got off lucky, the other guys didn’t want to talk about it and I wasn’t drunk, so they let me go. But he said I should talk to someone about why I felt compelled to do something so suicidal.”

Judd frowns, and TK can’t meet his eyes anymore.

“And were you?” the man asks. “Thinking like that?”

TK heaves a breath and leans into the back of the couch.

“No,” he admits. “I don’t want to die, Judd. I just wanted to feel something.”

Judd nods and relaxes into the couch with him. They’re silent for a moment. TK can hear the rest of the crew, talking as they eat. They’ve already been longer than planned, and he’s starting to feel bad.

“Okay,” Judd says. “I won’t ask about your therapist, because that’s your business. But will you do something for me?”

TK finally meets his eyes again. There’s no judgement or upset in Judd’s face. Just acceptance.

“Talk to someone if you ever feel the need to do that again. Don’t have to be me if you don’t want, but someone. No more brawls that could get you killed.”

TK smiles and nods.

“Yeah, I can do that.”

Judd smiles at him for the first time and pats him on the back. TK finds himself pulled in and squeezed for a brief second before he’s released.

“Good,” Judd says. “Now, come on. We both need to eat, and we oughta do it soon if we expect any to be left for us.”

TK laughs and stands. They head back downstairs together. Judd only pauses a second before they come fully into view of the others.

“Thank you for telling me, TK.”

He smiles and feels just a little bit lighter for it.

“Thank you for listening.”

The others greet them joyfully, and there is, in fact, food left for the both of them.

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, what TK says is highly reminiscent of the talk he has with Carlos. It's up to you whether these happened together or if TK held off opening up to Carlos until after talking to Judd like he does in this. I just really wanted TK and Judd having this moment.
> 
> Anyway, I hope you liked this! If you have ideas or suggestions of what you'd like to see me try my hand at for writing in this fandom, let me know! I'm always happy to see what you guys are interested in.
> 
> Also, if you're on discord, I have a server! We have a few fandoms on there that I've written for. If you're interested, [here's the invite](https://discord.gg/ZNhmHqQHeH)! Come say hi!


End file.
